


Five Times Oswald used Riddles to communicate with Edward and One Time Edward did

by Row4nOwls



Series: Five Times... [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Graphic Violence, telephone sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Row4nOwls/pseuds/Row4nOwls
Summary: I mean... it’s basically all in the title... not much more to add really.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Five Times... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709446
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	1. Love

Oswald was, and always had been, ruled by his emotions. And yet, cruelly, he had trouble expressing most of what he felt. Anger continued to be the only emotion that he could freely express. What he felt for Ed he hadn’t been able to voice. And yet he was so consumed by that one over powering emotion that he entertained the practically unthinkable. 

He’d voiced more than once his distain for riddles and yet Edward loved them. Strangely Oswald was quite good at riddles. Both writing them and solving them. He disliked them because he found them childish. But the delight on Edward’s face when he posed one was enough for Oswald to put his plan into action. 

Red, Edward thought, was a strange colour. At times it meant danger, others it signified love and occasionally announced the arrival of death. He could almost call the colour a riddle in of itself. And indeed it was currently presenting him with one in the form of a red folded piece of paper sat neatly on his desk. He was in his office at City Hall which meant who ever placed it there had access to the building. Interest peeked he plucked the paper off of the desk and unfolded it. 

‘I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?’

Ed shrugged looking down at the paper “Love” he answered it. He turned the paper over and found no further clues regarding who had left it there. He sighed annoyed he crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. Frustrated Edward continued with his day and by the time that Oswald knocked to ask if he needed a ride home Ed had forgotten the paper. 

The next morning he walked to the coffee shop near City Hall to fetch himself and Oswald a ‘pick me up’. The night before had been a long one. Some new gang felt that they could infringe on Nick the Nails’ Territory and he was up in arms about it. Oswald called a meeting of gangs and put his foot down... heavily... on Nick’s neck. 

Oswald hadn’t believed the man’s claims and had Zsasz look into it. It turned out that Nick had brought shares in ‘The Merc’ and was trying to start a gang war in order to drive up sales. Once Oswald had heard his confession he drove the Penguin headed knife from the top of his cane through Nick’s eye spurring thick red blood across the room and onto Oswald’s face. Ed found something enchanting about Oswald wild eyed with tussled hair and red smeared across his face. 

Ed was day dreaming about the night before when the barista handed him his coffees. He thanked the youth and headed back to the office. It wasn’t until he returned to his office after giving Oswald his cup that Ed noticed something written on his own. 

It was a riddle which read - ‘I hurt the most when lost, yet also when not had at all. I'm sometimes the hardest to express, but the easiest to ignore. I can be given to many, or just one. What am I?’   
“Love” he answered the cup with a shrug and a roll of his eyes and something felt very familiar about the action. 

Remembering the red paper of the day before he abandoned the cup on his desk and launched himself at the bin on the floor. He tipped it up and sorted through the contents until he payed his hands on the crumpled piece of paper. Returning to his desk and the cup he examined the hand writing both sets were different. Deflated his sat slumped in his chair for most of the rest of the day.   
Ed spent the ride home and the night uselessly pondering the meaning of the love riddles and their sudden appearance in his life.

“Ed?” Oswald asked gently after they’d eaten dinner in near silence, “are you all right?”

“Yes” he answered curtly, “I’m fine I just need to...” he couldn’t land that sentence. 

“Go to bed?” Offered Oswald, “you look done in”. 

Ed hummed in response as Oswald limped from the room saying something about turning in himself. Someone wanted to tell Ed that they loved him, that much was clear but who?

The following day brought Ed another clue in the form of a singing banana. The woman was dressed from head to toe in yellow and sang to the tune of Ed’s favourite song - “What costs nothing but is worth everything, weighs nothing but lasts a lifetime, that one person can't own but two can share?”

“Love” he answers growling.

“I guess” shrugged the woman holding her hand out for a tip. 

“Who sent you?” He bit out.

“The agency” she answered confused.

“Clearly” he snapped, “who hired them to send you?”

“Um... not sure I can answer that...”

He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a couple of twenties. Waving them at her he repeated, “who hired you?”

She snatched the money and in return gave him the order form, “that’s all I know” she said before wisely leaving. 

Considering he was at home it meant who ever was sending the riddles knew his place of work and home address. Considering they’d asked for the riddle to be sung to his favourite song they knew a lot more about him. 

“Who was that?” Oswald asked as Ed entered the dinning room.

“A singing fruit” he mumbled, “posing a riddle”

“I thought you liked riddles” said Oswald. 

“Yes...” Ed answered slowly as something clicked into place. 

Thursday brought a forth riddle. This one was creatively placed on a billboard across the road from the library that Edward liked to frequent. ‘What is more rare and more valuable than gold, but easier to lose?’ Ed smiled whispering “Love” to himself as he entered the building. 

His heart was beating a mile a minute and his face hurt from smiling. Oswald had rather elegantly told Ed he loved him over the course of the last week. For his part all Ed had to do was figure out his own feelings towards Oswald. 

Ed barely noticed the fact that the new librarian bore a resemblance to Miss Kringle as he was far more concerned by the fact that she seemed to have spent her day figuring out the riddle and landed on the answer being ‘friendship’. 

She’d beamed telling him this as he checked out his books, “I think you’ll find Isobel that the answer is, in fact, love” he told her shortly.

“Isabella” she corrected. 

“Whatever” he muttered as he left with his books in tow. 

Friday morning he slipped on his suit jacket frowning at the cringing sound his breast pocket made. He slipped his hand inside and pulled out a second piece of red paper. He smiled unfolding it and his heart fluttered as he read it. 

‘What three words are said often, wanted by all, but rarely meant?’

This riddle had another line underneath it. The change Ed felt signalled the end of the riddles. He sighed and stole himself as he read the rest of the note. 

‘And I do with all that I am - Oswald’. 

He placed the paper over his heart and sat down heavily on his bed allowing his eyes to close as he turned over the implication of those words in his mind. 

After a while of soul searching Ed tracked downstairs to find a nervous wreaked looking Oswald sat by the fire in his father’s chair. 

Ed held up the piece of paper, “I love you” he said. 

Oswald’s eyes widen and he made to stand up but thought better of it and sat back down, “yes” he said. “That’s the answer to the riddle.” 

Edward steppes forward into Oswald’s space he sunk to his knees in front of Oswald, “No, Oswald,” he said softly, “I love you.”


	2. Penguin

Barbara had made a grave miscalculation. Edward knew that and smiled as she tried to explain away her attempted coo. Edward turned his attention to the Penguin sitting to his right at the head of the table. He was drumming his fingers on the oak table top as if bored of her ramblings.   
“I mean really...” she said desperate, “it was all Butch and Tabby...” 

“Butch?” Frowned Penguin, “I don’t know about that” he clicked his fingers.   
Butch entered the room with Tabitha Galavan whom he was holding at gun point. 

“Butch, my old friend,” smiled the Penguin. Ed sighed he really was exquisite.

“Barbara here says you master minded a coo, want me out of power, what do you say to that?” 

“Barbara you idiot” snapped Tabby, “Penguin played us from the start, Butch was never with us”

Penguin rolled his eyes, “do shut her up Butch” he ordered.

“Permanently or do you wanna make it last for what she did to Ma?”

“I’m sure the Riddler would like to have some fun later” smiled Penguin taking Ed’s hand.  
Butch hit Tabby over the head with the butt of his gun knocking her to the floor.

“But... but you love her” said Barbara crying now. 

‘God’ thought Ed, ‘she’s an ugly crier’.

“Nah, don’t even fancy her really” smiled Butch, “I prefer women who are nice to me and don’t think their doing me a favour just by sticking around”.

“Now,” said Penguin addressing the heads of the families sitting around the table, “I want to make absolutely sure that Barbara and Tabitha acted alone. Raise your hand if they contacted you prior to today’s meeting and I will be merciful” smiled Penguin. “I’m not unreasonable, I know how this works... I’ve done it all myself before it’s self preservation, I understand that.” He smiled it was dangerous. Ed was looking forward to having Oswald once this was over. 

A few of the men around the table exchanged glances and then, for god knows what reason, Gregor Kasyanov and Tommy Bones put their hands up. 

“There now” smiled Penguin, “isn’t honestly the best policy? I think so, don’t you Victor? Butch?”   
Gregor and Tommy both looked around as Victor Zsasz’s hand closed over Gregor’s wrist and Butch grabbed Tommy’s. 

“What are you doing?” Cried Tommy. 

“Showing mercy” answered Penguin as his henchmen cut off the gangsters hands. Both men where reduced to screaming, crying racks and the other heads of families went deathly quiet.   
“Now” said Penguin, “anyone else?” 

Absolute silence aside from the two men whimpering on the floor. 

“What do you wanna do with the hands Boss?” Asked Butch.

“Shall we put ‘em on ice or sick ‘em with Grace?” Asked Zsasz.

Penguin considered this for a moment. “Put them with Grace, has everyone meet my stepmother?” He gestured towards the dismembered head on display in front of the window. 

“Please” said Barbara perhaps sensing her own fate, “I’ll run the club for you and you can use it as a front for whatever you need. I’ll keep the GCPD off your back, you know I have history with Jim he listens to me...”

“Jim and I are old friends” smiled Penguin, “you and I aren’t. And why would I need you to run a club when I could just...” out of nowhere he pulled a gun and shot Barbara through the eye, “kill you and run it myself?” 

“We’re back in the entertainment business boss?” Grinned Butch, “I always liked the club.” 

“Well we’ll have to remodel it, it’s just not...” 

“Classy enough?” Asked Butch 

“Not by a long shot” smiled Penguin. The pair continued with an easy back and forth as Gabe dragged Barbara’s corpse from the room and Zsasz arranged the dismembered hands next to a rotting head. Ed looked around the table completely at ease and had to suppress a laugh at the horror on the others faces. 

“Of course I’ll need to rename it...”

“Penguin” interrupted Ed, “perhaps we should let these gentleman get on with their days?” 

“Yes, very well you may go” he dismissed them, “oh and Bones, Kasyanov try not to get blood on the carpet on your way out.” 

“You are magnificent” Ed leant in and kissed his lover. 

“Thank you my love,” Penguin beamed, “oh Butch! I have the perfect name”.

Three weeks and a vat of acid poured over Tabitha’s head, Ed had no choice she got all three riddles wrong, later and the new Iceberg Lounge was approaching its opening night. Edward walked in covering his eyes with one hand and clinging to Oswald’s hand with the other.   
“My love I have an riddle for you” Oswald announced.

“You must be in a very good mood to be dribbling in riddles” smiled Ed. 

“I am, our enemies are defeated and our new club will open tonight and I owe it all to you!”  
“It wasn’t all me you routed Barbara out on your own” 

“You rather creatively rid me of Tabitha for which I feel you’ve earned a surprise”

“My surprise is the riddle?”

“Sort of, are you ready riddler?”

“Always”

“I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?”

“A piano” answered Ed immediately. 

“Yes” grinned Oswald pulling on Ed’s wrist to removed Ed hand from Ed’s eyes, “would you like to play for opening night?” Oswald kissed Ed’s hand. “No, one plays like you.”

“It’s beautiful” said Ed admiring the baby grand. Made of shiny black sugar pine, there was a piano stool in front of the piano with a red cushion on top. 

“Oswald, nothing would make me happier than to play at your opening night.”

“Our opening night”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More tomorrow folks...


	3. Scarecrow

“Is there any chance that that foot of yours can become lead like your hand” Ed growled.

“Is there any chance that you can speak without it being some kind of riddle?” Butch bit back as he put his foot down. 

“If anything happened to Oswald because...” he trailed off.

“They were screaming on the phone” Butch replied waving in and out of traffic. 

“Butch if he’s dead...”

“We’ll burn the city to the ground” Butch promised firmly. 

Edward entered the restaurant hand on his gun within his coat pocket, Butch at his heels. The restaurant was in disarray, tables up turned, a few bodies on the floor, blood smearing the bar area and walls, bullet holes in almost every surface. 

He pulled his gun and the click of Butch’s told Ed he’d done the same. Someone was whimpering behind the bar and Ed glanced over it. A young girl sat there rocking herself while pulling fist fulls of hair out of her head. 

“Hey” Ed said, “stop” he reached to towards her but the girl wide eyed in fear screamed and scrambled away from him. He looked back at Butch who was looking over the bar too with a nervous look on his face. 

“Want me to call some back up?” Butch asked.

Ed nodded and headed towards the back room where they did the counting for the money laundering funds which the restaurant was a front for. Oswald had brought Zsasz down to the restaurant because he suspected them of skinning off the top and wanted to make a point. There was only so much mayoral paperwork that Oswald could take before he felt the need to get his hands dirty. 

And Oswald had being Mayor down to a fine art he’d even taken control of underworld in a vice like grip with his licensing system meaning that Oswald could lower or increase crime rates at will. Edward even had a licence entitling him to do anything from petty theft to murder. Only he, Oswald, Butch and Zsasz and his crew had licences permitting murder. 

So who ever killed the people in the restaurant would feel the full force of both the Penguin and the GCPD. 

His mouth was dry as he pushed open the door to the room marked ‘Private’ and saw more blood on the walls. The door thumped into someone sitting behind it. Edward peered around it to see Zsasz sitting with his knees to pulled up to his chest and his thumb in his mouth. 

“Victor?” Said Edward softly. 

Zsasz turned wide eyes towards him and whimpered crawling towards him and wrapping his arms around Ed’s waist. 

“Jesus,” said Butch from behind Ed, “what the fuck happened?”

“Victor where is Oswald?” Asked Edward. 

“Penguin...” sniffed Victor. 

“Yeah” said Butch, “where is he man?” 

“Those men... there was so many... ran out of bullets... so many clowns” 

“Which men?” Asked Ed, he was trying very hard to keep his patience but the knot twisting in his stomach was making him sick. 

“They had this gas and it smelt and... I killed all the clowns” 

“Okay, well done” Ed wiggles out of Zsasz’s grasp and pulled the man to his feet, “where the clowns in the restaurant?” He asked.

“They were everywhere and they were screaming” Victor was wide eyed in fear again so Ed nudged him towards Butch. 

“I think Zsasz killed the people in the restaurant” sighed Ed moving further into the room.

“Great I’ll look forward to explaining this to Jim” moaned Butch. 

In the middle of the room was an table turned on it’s side it was riddled with bullet holes. The counting machines and some of the money littered the floor but Ed could tell at a glance that it wasn’t anywhere near the amount that should have been there. It was becoming clear the place was robbed with some sort of gas... maybe a Neurotoxin Ed heard crying and rounded the table to find Oswald covered in scratches and laying on his side legs drawn up to his chest. 

“Oswald” Ed dropped to his knees.

“Is he breathing” demanded Butch. 

“Yeah he’s alive” 

“Thank god” sighed Butch, “grab him and I’ll phone in an anonymous tip to the GCPD get them to clear up this mess.” 

Ed nodded it was the best course of action. It always surprised Ed when Butch showed off his brains and experience of having grown up in the underworld. 

He reached down and placed a caring hand on the small of his lovers back. Oswald flinched away from him shaking in fear.

“Little bird” smoothed Edward, “it’s me, it’s ok I have you now” 

“He was... here” he said in a stage whisper.

“Who my little bird, who was here?” 

“No, I can’t” Oswald shook his head, “I mustn’t speak his name”.

“You can tell me my love” 

Oswald shook his head violently sitting up and thumping against the underside of the table.  
“No stop that” he pulled Penguin into his arms. “Can you tell me without saying his name?” Asked Edward rubbing Oswald’s back.

“Yes... yes” Oswald laughed in the relief of being given an alternative. His eyes darted about as he thought. Edward thought this might have been a bad idea but still Oswald was more coherent than Zsasz was. 

“I'm like a doll, But I'm not for playing; I stand up straight, but if windy I may be laying; I have no brain; I work outside both day and night in sunshine or in rain. What am I?” Breathed Oswald rushing his words and sounding hysterical. He grabbed Edward’s lapels, “What am I?”

Edward smiled at him, “Scarecrow” he answered. 

Oswald’s eyes went wide, “hush he’ll hear you and come back”.

“It’s ok my little bird” said Edward looking him in the eye, “I’ll deal with him.” 

Edward pulled Oswald to his feet and half dragged, half supported him over to the door where Butch still stood with Zsasz weeping in his arms. 

“Little bird?” He smirked.

“Repeat it again and I’ll cut out your tongue” said Ed coldly. 

“Come on Zsasz lets go” he said trying to pull the man from the room.

“No the clowns they’ll get me, please no...” begged Victor Zsasz Gotham’s most feared hitman. 

“Ok big guy” smiled Butch as he slapped Victor with his lead hand knocking the hitman out. Butch lifted Zsasz into a fireman’s lift. “You ok with him?” He asked Edward.

“We’re fine, lets get out of here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys.... leave a comment if you enjoyed it!


	4. Telephone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a kinda smutty chapter... so if it’s not your thing then you should just skip it.

Ed felt lost and alone. It was a familiar feeling in his life loneliness one that he had hoped was vanquished by Oswald’s presences in his life. The reappearance of the almost crushing loneliness was almost too much to endure. 

It was the Riddler’s attack on Johnathan Cane which resulted in both Edward’s and Oswald’s incarceration. Oswald had had nightmares for weeks after the robbery at the restaurant and Ed couldn’t let it stand. So once they found Cane and his little gang The Riddler and The Penguin paid him a visit. 

Of course Jim Gordon couldn’t let the deaths of twenty innocent restaurants goers stand either. As it turned out Gordon was only a few steps behind them and showed up in time to save Cane’s life and arrest them. Apparently since Oswald lost his re-election campaign to that idiot Avery the GCPD no longer accepted the licences. 

Edward missed Oswald like someone had removed a limb. He needed Oswald, loved and adored him and desperately missed his lover’s touch. 

About a month into both of their sentences Ed received a package from Oswald via one of the guards. It consisted of a circuit board and a battery. Ed frowned unsure what to do with the parts he tipped up the envelope and a small rolled up piece of paper slipped out.

“I have a ring but no finger. You answer me yet I posed no question, what am I?” Ed read aloud, “a telephone” he smiled knowing what the parts where for. 

He lifted the mattress off of the bed frame and pulled one of the wire springs that made up the bed frame free. He straightened it out and used it to scrape the mortar away from around a lose brick. It was no good for an escape attempt but once the brick could be removed he would able to use it was a hiding place for his phone parts. 

Six weeks later he had all the parts but nothing to assemble them with. He sighed he’d have to steel something... a screwdriver and some microwave parts to create a homemade welder. He’s have to get on kitchen duty which meant making with Pyg. Which he didn’t want to do, the only thing he wanted to do to Pyg after his force feed Oswald human flesh and threatened Martín was shove a screwdriver through the man’s eye... once he’d stolen one. 

Still if it meant hearing Oswald’s voice...

The next morning saw Edward stood in front of Pyg wearing an apron and a fake smile, “Well Penguin deserved to be taken down a peg or two” he was saying lightly while imagining Pyg clutching his eye and screaming. 

“I quite agree” grinned Pyg before showing Ed around the kitchen. He eyes the microwaves and starts to come up with a plan. Everything depended on a screwdriver. For that he’d need a repairman to, well, repair something. So he’d have to break something all the better if it was a microwave. 

After Pyg set him to work cutting up some carrots he suggested to a girl who referred to herself was ‘magpie’ that putting a spoon into the microwave would look pretty. She lit up like Christmas and did it immediately. Several seconds later there was a small explosion which resulted in the orderlies flooding the kitchen. 

A few minutes after a repairman appeared with a toolbox in tow. Ed quickly slipped a screwdriver into his pocket while the repairman declared the microwave ruined. Edward offered for remove the damaged device and with some difficulties managed to remove the parts he need and seek it back to his cell. Two weeks later he managed to slip into a vent and steel a second microwave from the kitchen. 

He’d have preferred to have had a book to refresh his memory on how to make a welder but he’d make do. A few day later both the welder and phone were built.   
Now the only problem he had was how to ring Oswald on the device. 

Two days later the guard who’d delivered the phone pieces brought him another package. He eagerly ripped it open to find a book inside. It was a well thumbed copy of the ‘Outsiders’ three of the pages were dog earred. They were pages seven, nine and thirty two. On page seven there was a zero written in pencil in front of the seven, Ed smiled it was the first five digits of a phone number. Another two days pasted and no more deliveries came. 

Annoyed Ed huffed and puffed his way around the common room flicking Jeremiah’s ear each time he passed him. On his third lap of the room he saw a newspaper folded neatly on a bench. He picked it up and flicked through the first few pages. A headline caught his eye ‘Thirteen dead as gangs threaten Penguin’s empire’. He read the article Zsasz it seemed had taken out thirteen members of the Black Mask’s gang in retaliation for the Mask taking the faces off of three of Oswald’s men. 

The reporter had ambitiously gone to Blackgate to get a quote from Penguin. He was quoted as saying “I have little control over what happens in Gotham as I am no longer the Major or involved in the underworld. There will always be these men that raise up and fell that they can control a city as strong and powerful as Gotham, Valeska, Falcone, Maroni, The Riddler... let this be a message to them all.” 

Ed raised his eyebrows as another three numbers slid into place.

Six days later there was an explosion on ninety sixth and second street. Ed waited for lights out when he was lying on his bed without the risk of being overheard and dialled the number. 

“Hello my love” said Oswald after the first ring.

“Oswald” Ed breathed, “I’m so happy to speak to you I could cry”

“Dear heart don’t cry, I’m happy to hear your voice too. Did you enjoy the puzzle and my riddles?”

“Very much so, I wanted to ask why you sent the phone in parts but you wanted to give me a puzzle to solve?”

“I know how lonely and unhappy you felt the last time you were in Arkham and I knew that you’d need something to keep you going.”

“Speaking to you would have kept me going” Ed said a little annoyed but he did enjoy the game of it all. 

“I know my love but you also needed a distraction from the loneliness I suspect you haven’t felt lonely in several weeks now.” 

“I haven’t as it happens” he smiled Oswald was still taking care of him. 

“Did you have Zsasz kill thirteen people for retaliation or for the phone number?” 

“A bit of both, serendipitous when things line up nicely.”

“You must really love me”

“You are my whole heart”. 

“I miss you touch so much, the way you taste, how tight you are and your kiss”

“Ed” Oswald’s breathing was audible, “I miss your touch too and the slide of you cock down my throat and your fingers inside of me and...” Oswald moaned a little at that thought. 

“Oswald, do you have a cell mate?” Ed asked.

“No, they have me in isolation they don’t want me making too many friends”

Ed smiled, “you’d over throw the guards and have Blackgate by the balls within a week”.

“Well I’ve only been able to speak to three people since being here but I’ve already managed to get two phones, organise deliveries to you, arrange the murders of a bakers dozen and an explosion. Imagine what I’d do if I was actually trying.”

“I’m glad you don’t have a cell mate because I want you to slide down your trousers and take your cock in you hand.” 

“Really Edward?” 

“Yeah I’ll do the same... I’m doing the same.” Ed grasped his cock and stroked from the base to the tip just as Oswald did. “Tell me what you were thinking of me doing to you when you moaned a moment ago.” He shifted the phone and sandwiched it between his shoulder and his ear.

He could hear sheets rustling on the other end and Oswald’s breathing coming a little harder. 

“Pretend your hand is my hand” offered Ed knowing that Oswald would be uncomfortable with this new sexual experience. A small part of him was proud that once again he’d be Oswald’s guide through another intimate experience. 

“I’m... holding it” Oswald sounded unsure. It was adorable. 

“Do you remember when we first professed our feelings for each other? We were at home and I knelt in front of you and told you I love you.”

“And you lead me other to the sofa and kissed me... softly, gently and then you undid my trousers and slid...”

“You were nervous and I asked if you’d prefer to show me what you liked and you said you didn’t know because you’d never masturbated before. Do you remember?” 

“You had me take my trousers off and sit in your lap...”

“Yes... imagine that I took my clothes off too. My little bird we’re before naked on the sofa at home in front of the fire and your straddling me.”

“I can... picture it” breathed Oswald. 

“I have my hand on your member and I stroke you from the base to the tip... nice long strokes as I move my hand down to the base” Ed stroked himself as he described it to Oswald, “I squeeze gently and twist my wrist as I slide my hand back up to the tip where I... drag my... thumb over the slit and press down a little.” 

Oswald breathed hard at the other end, “I’m... Ed...” 

Edward could hear him playing along and sped up his hands movements, “I start to... increase my sped a little...”

“Ed” moaned Oswald, “I need...”

“I know what you need little bird... spread your legs and reach down to your entrance... slide a finger in... you might want to lick your fingers first...”

In his minds eye he could see Oswald naked on his prison bunk phone press between his shoulder and ear. One hand on his cock sliding it up and down and the other drifting between his legs and fingering himself open... god Ed wanted to be between Oswald’s pale thighs his fingers slipping into Oswald’s warm body... 

“Oswald... I... er...” as he moved him hand faster he was losing coherent thought.

“Tell me...” moaned Oswald, “Ed... I have two fingers inside me... tell me how dirty I am... a slut for you... your cock...” 

“Yes, my filthy little bird you can only come when... you have... something inside you...” he was getting close. From Oswald’s end all he could heard was moaning and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh.   
“Such a pretty wore...” Ed moaned, “begging to have me... inside...” he squeezed the base of his cock and slid his hand to the tip as he came calling out Oswald’s name. After a moment clarity started to return and he could heard that Oswald was still going. 

“So... I slide a third finger into your...”

“Fourth...” Oswald corrects moaning. 

“A fourth finger into your hole and start moving them in a circular motion” he smiled listening to Oswald’s moans increase lazily he started to stroke himself again. “I’m flexing my fingers inside of you and scissoring them to open you up...”

“Yes... your so big... you need to make sure...”

“I need to make there’s room for my thumb” said Edward clearly increasing the sped of his hand, “I’m going to slid my whole hand into my dirty little bird’s hole and then I’m going to fuck you with it. Rough and hard and slow and no matter how much my little bird begs for more... for my cock all I’m going to give is my hand... fucking you slowly...”

“Ed... I got my... thumb in...”

“Fuck Oswald... bet you love it... god I bet you look so debauched legs spread wide your whole fist up yourself... get on your knees and fuck your self on your fist...” his movements on his own cock had lost all finesse as he imagined Oswald fucking himself with his fist.

Oswald’s moans increased as Edward continued to jerk himself off. “Come on birdie come for me let me hear you” 

“Edward... I’m close...” Oswald dissolved into moans and grunts. Ed could hear the squeak of the spring on Oswald’s bed as the sexual sounds increased. “Edward...”

“That’s it... darling... come with me...” they screamed each others names and then there was silence. Edward breathed hard as he readjusted his glasses and looked for something to clean himself up with.

“Edward” said Oswald his voice small, “when we’re back into each others arms will you...” 

“Slide my entire hand into you and fuck you without mercy, yes my little bird I’ll do that for you... that and so much more...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading - more tomorrow


	5. Dinner

Oswald jumped at the sound of the door slamming. He sighed. Something had clearly upset his husband and here Oswald had been hoping that Edward would be in a good mood and take him, Oswald, to bed and lighten Oswald’s own mood. 

“I hate him” Edward threw his bowler hat across the room before pulling out his knife and driving it into the dinning table. 

“That was my father’s table” said Oswald blankly. 

Oswald was sat with Martín having dinner. The small boy, who Oswald had adopted officially the year before, jumped at the action turning his wide shocked eyes to Edward.

“That bat is a menace” spat Edward. 

“I know” said Oswald calmly. 

Martín scribbled something on his pad and turned it to face Edward. 

“No, use your words” Edward snapped at the boy.

“Your scaring him, you know he doesn’t talk when he’s frightened”

“Sorry” Edward looked at the paper, “no Sunshine I didn’t get the painting” he answered reading the scribbled words.

Martín looked disappointed. 

“I’m not sure why you wanted it so much to begin with” shrugged Oswald. 

“Because you liked it” answered Edward quietly.

“My dear you needn’t go to so much trouble for me”

“I would do anything for you Oswald” he said sincerely.

“Come” Oswald he held his hand out to Ed, “have dinner with us”.

Sighing Edward reluctantly joined them, “I need to figure out how he solved my riddles so fast.”

Oswald played mother and served Edward before returning to his own meal. After several long minutes of silence Oswald looked up at his family. Edward was sulking his head down and Martín was pushing food sadly around his plate. 

“Edward,” said Oswald, “I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I?” he asked. 

Edward looked up at Oswald bemused, “excuse me?”   
“I can be cracked...”

“Oh, I heard you” Edward grinned big and bright and beautiful, “your a joke.”

“Correct” beamed Oswald. “I'm tall when I'm young and I'm short when I'm old. What am I?”  
“Martín, do you know?” Edward asked. 

The boy nodded and waved his pencil in the air. Edward looked at Oswald expectantly.  
“Correct young man” 

“My turn” demanded Edward, “this ones for you Oswald, You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I?”

“Hmm” said Oswald making a show of thinking. He knew that Ed loved to watch the cogs turn in people’s minds when he posed a riddle, “use a knife to slice my head and weep beside when I am dead... an onion?” He asked cautiously. 

“Yes” beamed Edward, “you alway get them right” 

“It’s why you love me isn’t it?”

Edward’s smile grew bigger, “one for Martín, I act like a cat, I look like a cat, Yet I am not a cat. What am I?”

Oswald’s son shrugged and bit his lip shaking his head.

“Come now” said Oswald, “think about it, what looks like a cat but isn’t one?” 

Martín scribbled a stripped cat and showed it to Ed.

“A tiger? Close young man, would you like to try again?”

Martín frowned for a moment and then his eyes lit up, “a kitten” his voice was just above a whisper but both adults caught it.

“Excellent, well done Sunshine” grinned Edward. 

“Do you have a riddle for us Martín?” Oswald asked gently.

The boy nodded and wrote something on his pad. He held it up. 

“A slender body, a tiny eye, no matter what happens, I never cry. What am I?” read Oswald aloud.

“Oh that’s a good one” smiled Edward. 

“It’s tricky” nodded Oswald, “do you know it Ed?”

“A needle” Ed winked at Martín, “do you have one for Daddy?” 

Martín nodded writing something else he showed.

“I am wet when drying. What am I?” read Edward for Oswald. 

“Hmm” said Oswald again making another show of thinking about it. Edward reaches out and took Oswald’s hand stoking the back of it with his thumb. Oswald looked at him he was smiling, a twinkle in his eye. “A towel” said Oswald triumphantly.

“Yes” laughed Ed. “Was that right Martín? You’ve got to give Martín’s answer that’s how it works”  
Martín was nodding enthusiastically. 

“I love the way your mind works” Ed licked his lips, “so sexy”. 

“Ed” Oswald blushed. 

“You know what young man” Ed said to Martín, “I think it’s your bed time”.

Martín hopped down from the table and head towards the stairs. Ed stood to follow him, “and then Oswald, I think it’s our bed time.” He suggestively raised an eyebrow. 

As they left Oswald smiled to himself. As it turned out Oswald was going to be in a good mood after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading... leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it 😀


	6. Dog tags

Oswald sat by the fire staring into space. Edward watched him upset that the love of his life looked so dismayed. On the floor by his feet Edward’s name sake kept a watchful eye on his master. Oswald’s son Martín knelt by the coffee table at Ed’s side piecing a jigsaw puzzle together. 

Ed knew why Oswald was low. It was the anniversary of his mother’s death which meant they only had a few months until the anniversary of his father’s death. Oswald was usually down around both dates but never like this. 

Usually they’d take flowers to their graves and Oswald would share his memories of them both. Ed would hold his hand and make Oswald dinner and then, depending on how Oswald felt, they spend the evening cuddling or making love. 

But today Oswald hadn’t moved from his chair nor dressed nor eaten. Oswald sat in his dressing gown and pyjamas staring into the middle distance. 

“Perhaps we should get some flowers for your mother” said Ed, “it’s a... that is to say... the weather is fine. We could take a walk to the florist with Martín and the dog.” 

Oswald made no response. 

“Would you like that Martín?” 

The boy nodded. 

“And I’m sure the dog would, my love, little bird it hurts me to see you like this. Tell me what I should do?” 

“Just leave” said Oswald his voice horse. 

“Don’t push me away please” Ed didn’t even care if he sounded like he was begging. 

“I said leave”, shouted Oswald before storming out and thumping his way upstairs. 

Martín scribbled something and showed Ed, ‘at least he’s out of the chair’.  
Ed sighed. 

Ed held Martín’s hand and they walked up the small hill towards Gerturd Kapelput’s grave. Martín held the dog’s lead and the small, fat, bulldog trailed behind them. Ed had a bunch of lilies in his free had. 

“She’ll like these” he told Martín as they walked, “I never met her but I’m sure she would have been proud of Oswald and she would have loved you.”

“You too” offered Martín his voice small as ever. 

“I hope so... there’s something I’ve wanted to ask Oswald for a while but I’m not sure how.” 

“Ask” said the boy.

“It more grown up and complicated than that” smiled Ed. When they reached the grave he knelt down and removed the dead flowers. “I should have brought something to clean the headstone with.” He sighed, “you wouldn’t want to look so dishevelled would you?” He looked at the grave and started to pull up the weeds peeking out of the grass. Martín knelt down and held him while the dog just lay down closing its eyes. 

“I’m sorry Ms Kapelput I haven’t brought the proper equipment for grave maintenance. When Oswald’s feeling better we’ll comeback and I’ll wipe down your headstone, give you a polish.” He sighed, “I don’t know what’s wrong with Oswald he’s been so sad lately I just can’t put my finger on why...” 

Martín handed him some weeds and several handfuls of grass, “good job, let’s get some ice cream.” He stood up holding the weeds and dead flowers in one hand he offered the other to the boy. 

“Goodbye Ms Kapelput I promise I’ll bring your son next time.”  
Martín waved at the grave with his free hand. 

“Don’t forget the dog” Ed reminded the boy who scooped up the lead and allowed Edward to guide him away from the grave. “Where shall we go for ice cream?”

Oswald lay on his bed curled into a ball. He missed his mother so much it was almost crunching but he’s usually been able to live with that pain. Although since he’d decided to make a few changes in his life, to his little family, he’d been struggling to cope without her advice. Adopting Martín on his own while daunting had been a certainly. The boy’s other option had been to remain at an orphanage were he was bullied, so living with Oswald was a step up. 

Again adopting the dog had been easy because, well, the dog’s opinion didn’t matter. But this, asking another adult to spend their life with you, so much of it was uncertain. He was so deeply stressed by the idea of Ed rejecting him that Oswald had started to push Ed away. 

The door opened a fraction and Edward, the dog, slipped into the room. The little bulldog in gracefully jumped onto the bed and nudged Oswald with his nose. 

“Hello Edward” he patted the dog’s head frowning when he noticed that the black spiked collar had been placed by a red one. It had a silver tag attached to it with something written on it. It appeared to a be a cipher, a series of symbols that would correspond to letters on the alphabet which, once deciphered, would reveal a word or sentence.

Oswald frowned, sighing and slid to the edge of the bed getting up carefully and padding to the door. He pulled it open to revel Martín wearing a emerald green tux with his hair quaffed like Oswald’s own. 

“Martín, what is this?” 

Martín held up his little notepad the writing on it Oswald recognised as Ed’s.  
“Solve the cipher to reveal the question, the answer you’ll know it’ll give you direction” read Oswald, “Really?” He sighed. 

Martín removed the piece of paper to reveal another. 

“Start with a land far across the pond, the Queen of all will say AY” Oswald frowned, “Land across the pond, Ireland, Scotland, England... ah, Mary Queen of Scot’s cipher... the A was a circle and the Y was the number 8...” he looked down at the tag again. “I think I can work this out” he said, “I’ll play” Oswald submitted. 

Martín scribbled on a fresh sheet and show it to him, “when your done come down stairs but get dressed first” it read.

Oswald nodded and retreated into his room. A frustrating hour later and Oswald was staring down at the revealed question with tears in his eyes. He found that he did know the answer. 

Oswald dressed as quickly as his leg would allow and hobbled downstairs with Edward following him. He quickly checked his hair in the hall mirror and turned towards the dining room.

“Edward? Um... Ed?” He called. 

“Yes?” Ed stepped out of the living room and into the hall. 

“There you are” smiled Oswald. 

Ed held out his hand, “come here my little bird” 

Oswald shuffled towards him, “I believe I cracked your cipher, you clever thing you changed some of the letters.”

“I did, what do you think the question is?”

“I believe it says,” Oswald wipes away a tear and shakily held up with piece of paper, “My little bird, will you marry me?” 

“Correct” said Edward rocking on the balls of his feet, “and?” 

“The answer... yes my love I will marry you” breathed Oswald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading that’s it for this little series hoping to post another unrelated one soon. Thank once again and I hope you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed...


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